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  • Blaze Arizanov

19 Things To Do At Work Apart From Showing Your Penis To Your Colleagues

Updated: Sep 23, 2019

Build a card pyramid


Ask a redhair if they really glow in the dark


̶S̶h̶o̶p̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶i̶n̶e̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶p̶e̶n̶i̶s̶ ̶e̶n̶l̶a̶r̶g̶e̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶p̶i̶l̶l̶s̶


Reminisce about when Pluto was a planet


Remind your colleague that his zipper is open


Ask a red hair if they all really are daughters of arsonists


̶A̶s̶k̶ ̶f̶e̶m̶a̶l̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶n̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶h̶e̶c̶k̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶m̶o̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶p̶e̶n̶i̶s̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶s̶k̶i̶n̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶c̶e̶r̶


Ponder the seedless watermelon— genius or troubling?


Treat women coworkers as equals


̶S̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶p̶i̶c̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶i̶r̶l̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶e̶l̶e̶v̶a̶t̶o̶r̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶s̶m̶i̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶


Get to the bottom of the whole Russia/Trump thing.


Ask a redhair if they really drink gasoline


Listen to the Top 40 Countdown and write the songs down in order


̶̶̶“̶̶̶A̶̶̶c̶̶̶c̶̶̶i̶̶̶d̶̶̶e̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶a̶̶̶l̶̶̶l̶̶̶y̶̶̶”̶̶̶ ̶̶̶h̶̶̶a̶̶̶v̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶o̶̶̶r̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶p̶̶̶l̶̶̶a̶̶̶y̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶g̶̶̶ ̶̶̶o̶̶̶n̶̶̶ ̶̶̶c̶̶̶o̶̶̶m̶̶̶p̶̶̶u̶̶̶t̶̶̶e̶̶̶r̶̶̶ ̶̶̶d̶̶̶u̶̶̶r̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶g̶̶̶ ̶̶̶m̶̶̶e̶̶̶e̶̶̶t̶̶̶i̶̶̶n̶̶̶g̶̶̶ ̶̶̶w̶̶̶i̶̶̶t̶̶̶h̶̶̶ ̶̶̶f̶̶̶e̶̶̶m̶̶̶a̶̶̶l̶̶̶e̶̶̶ ̶̶̶a̶̶̶s̶̶̶s̶̶̶i̶̶̶s̶̶̶t̶̶̶a̶̶̶n̶̶̶t̶̶̶ ̶̶̶


Make a list of people who think “LOL” means “Lots of Love”


Write a letter from your future You to the dead You.


Tell a redhair that her father is Vulcan.


Tell a female subordinate that she’s doing a great job for no other reason than she’s doing a great job

C̶a̶l̶c̶u̶l̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶r̶o̶w̶t̶h̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶p̶e̶n̶i̶s̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶o̶n̶d̶ ̶u̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶t̶o̶p̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶


Tap the water cooler few times so that these bubbles on the wall disappear


Squeeze a stress ball


Donate money to a female candidate who is running for office against an old, white pervert.


D̶r̶a̶w̶ ̶f̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶p̶e̶n̶i̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶m̶a̶n̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶b̶r̶i̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶c̶o̶f̶f̶e̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶e̶’̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶v̶i̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶w̶a̶t̶c̶h̶ ̶a̶ ̶p̶u̶p̶p̶e̶t̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶w̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶p̶a̶n̶t̶s̶


Organize a company-wide canned food drive


Your actual job

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Well done. Chat you on Friday!